Becoming Better

“I’m learning all the time. I’m evolving all the time as a human being. I’m getting better, I hope, in all of the important ways.” – Neil Peart


Nah kidding. But I did completely redo the entire blog because it was time for a fresh start. So same me, but a better me if you read this tomorrow. And if you wait until Tuuuuuuuesday to finish, the Tuesday me will then be better than the Monday me, which will easily surpass current me, who is writing this in real time.

I decided to keep all of my old entries available because everything I wrote has been a huge part of the person I am today. Each new post I wrote allowed me to connect to at least one other person who was going through something similar. And that’s really what keeps a lot of us going, right? Connecting with others? Deep down, humans yearn to be loved. Even though we may not yet know how to love. It’s an impossible craving to fight, but once you give in…it’s indescribable.

To love ourselves, however, is a different story. It’s not something that always comes easy, and for a myriad of reasons, whether it’s failing to reach goals, not being good enough at an important skill, or the feeling that nothing can go right (more on this fallacy in later writing). A lot of our issues can be traced back to an underlying cause: low self-esteem. I had always wrongfully assumed self-confidence and self-esteem could be interchangeable until someone inadvertently pointed this out to me. I always believe I can succeed, but if I fail, I really beat myself up over it for plenty reasons. If we were all able to truly believe the kind, caring, & sweet things told to us by those closest to us, low self-esteem wouldn’t be a thing.

One of the first things I learned in yoga was to be okay with where I am today, in this moment and time. It made so much sense (basically common sense). Not until we stop torturing ourselves with the past will we be able to become fully present. It’s something I struggle with immensely, but I’m going to become better with forgiveness and acceptance. Granted I’ve been lazy with yoga lately, the mental concepts can be practiced daily with some quiet meditation ‘me’ time. There’s a noticeable different start to my day if I wake up and give myself some silence before connecting with the real world via my iPhone versus waking up and immediately reading messages or rushing because I’m late for a thing. It’s just good to reflect and prepare.

Something else I’ve recently begun: bullet journaling. I’ve known it’s a thing for like 5 months (I’m usually a solid 1-4 years behind everything trendy), but I never seriously considered it until the last week of May. But now I’m on the train, and I’m really enjoying it so far. I’ve always preferred analog to digital for planning out my schedule. The bullet journal gives so much more room for creativity, trying various weekly spreads, writing styles, colors, etc. I also feel much more accountable to the goals I’ve written down. I have a list of reminders in my phone, and some are 3-4 months past due. It’s too easy to procrastinate with a digital reminder. Having to migrate an important task firsthand gives me a sense of “Okay, yeah I should actually do this so I don’t migrate this for the next 7 weeks.”

My goal with this fresh start is to connect with others in a different way than before. I’m planning to focus less on the details of my everyday life and more on the lessons I’ve learned through various life experiences that arise along the journey to becoming better. I’ll eventually share bullet journal pics, kitten pics, and anything else inspiring. And I’m also gonna do my best to refrain from 5000 word philosophical essays (fingers crossed!).

From here? Who knows? The unknown of the future is what drives us.

“Love is a strange emotion. It is ever evolving. Lust is transient. With time, one realizes that love and togetherness are two different things. Very few people are lucky enough to experience the two emotions simultaneously.” – Randeep Hooda


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